Linus Giese - "Ich Bin Linus" 

In just a few days I read this wonderful book: "Ich bin Linus" by Linus Giese.

It was a coincidence that I found it and I am more than glad that I did buy it and that I read it. Linus is a German trans man who describes his life, experiences and emotions in this book. There are so many sentences I marked, so many hearts I put there, next to some "wtf?" and "" reactions.

I see myself in his words. It's a weird mix of fear and hope. It feels like he knows exactly what I'm going though - though I go this way in a nonbinary way, as you know. It's funny, it's frustrating, it's vulnerable,... I recommend this book to everyone: to cis people who want to understand, to trans people who want to read experiences, to nonbinary people, to young adults figuring out their identity... It is the first book since YEARS (except scientific books for my thesis) I read. No other book could grab me and hug me like this one.

I don't know if it's available in English too, though.

It showed me that I am not weird, that my thoughts and feelings are valid and that other people feel similar like me. It showed me how the life of a trans man can be. It has written so many statements I truly support and gave me some sort of peace. My inner world wind of struggles paused down a little bit. It was a wonderful feeling.

Linus describes everything without the need of glossing over. He is true to himself and to the readers and sometimes it even hurts because he doesn't hide anything, not even fear, pain and hate. I should add the trigger warning for sexual assault for this book. Also a lot of mention of genitals. He also describes the hate he gets very vividly. It hurts but it is so important to talk openly about stuff like that. I really loved reading it, I enjoyed every page. I learned a lot and I felt seen most of the time. I felt safe and valid. 

To Linus,

if you are reading this: I love you. You are beautiful, handsome, you deserve love and happiness. You deserve life in all its good ways. You deserve friends, solidarity and dogs. I love dogs. Every good person deserves dogs.

You are inspiring to me. Maybe one day we can interact or even organise some things together.

Stay queer, lots of love! Thank you for that book!

Charlie

(iks/they)

Amanda Palmer - "The Art of Asking: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help"

The book has nothing to do with the topics trans* or nonbinary. But it is a book that can help with emotional and individual growth, "The Art Of Asking" helped me in so many ways. Musician Amanda Palmer talks about her life, her upcoming, her experiences. She takes us with her through her studies, through her being a living statue performer, becoming a rock star and living authentically. She shares her thoughts and emotions, expecially about her best friend who helped her shapre herself (but tragically died due  to cancer).

Most of all she brings us close to the art of asking: It is okay to ask for help. It is valid to not do everything on your own. Society exists for helping each other and she masters it.  She had to unlearn conditioned behaviour and opened up to trusting people - for better and for worse. All in all a wonderful guide to embrace being vulnerable and trusting people. 

My feelings towards Amanda Palmer are very ambivalent, she is also a very privileged person and sometimes I wish for more self-reflexion, but I can really recommend this book. It enlightened me and opened me for better interaction with other people:

Help and be helped.

That's how society can exist. 

The book helped me opening up about my feelings and emotions and is a huge factor on why I had the courage to make music publically. I owe it a lot. 

Amanda Palmer made a TED Talk about this book, so if you want to see that, here's the video: